Thursday, June 30, 2011

Now a days I dont travel as much as I used to. So I do the next best thing. I take a day trip. And if it is monsoon time, the greenery and the clouds tend to soothe ones nerves.
I went with my friend Shahshi Devidayal to Vippassana centre near Gorai Beach, and Essel world Mumbai.
It was a treat.
I heard that the Pagoda was the largest in the world. The museum with paintings from Buddhas life was beautiful.
Construction is still going on.
Have ticked on Vippassana meditation course mentally for sometime later.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Chapter 6 Lesson 1

My note:
Because one is bound by ones actions ( one sometimes erroneously believes that if one were to give up all actions, escape from life by becoming an ascetic, a sanyasi, one would happily escape consequences, ( karma) but sadly that is not the case.

Lord Krishna in the first verse of chapter 6 states: 
"He is no yogi who has merely given up all activity.
He who does his duty without expecting the fruits of action is a real sanyasi ( renouncer)

If you would like to read what I have written so far, Click:

  Role of Father in Child Care in our meeting on 4th June.
MRS initiatives of change

Due to sudden rains, many friends could not come.  I request you all (including those who were there for the meeting) to kindly send me your answers to the following questions.  Please ask your spouse also to answer independently:


1. In what way you yourself as a father or your husband played a good role in past for effective fathering?

I lost my father when I was 4 years old. I always felt a vacuum in my heart and missed a father immensely specially during the 'very happy moments' or 'very sad' moments in my life. I felt the vacuum lift once I had my own children and I saw them enjoying their father's love.
Though my husbsnd's business warranted that he travel a great deal, he spent quality time with his children when he was in town. Maybe because I had lost my father when I was too young I never made my children feel that they did not have quantity time from their father. Though the children missed their father when he was away, an issue was never made of it.
My husband and I presented a united front in front of my kids. Even if we differed on any issues we would discuss it behind closed doors, come to a decision and present it to our children.

2. In what way you as a father or your husband feels that thinking retrospectively he could have done a better job in specific situations?

My husband has been keeping indifferent health for a while, so I will put forth my point of view, more quantity time would have been welcome and thereby his involvement in PTA activities and also changing a diaper or two.u   

3. In what way you or your husband feel that in future,ly, you will be conscious to play a more effective role as a father – irrespective of the age of your child – 5 months or 50 years?

I can't think of any way. I believe that when the children are young you can guide them...when they are older you should let them lead their own lives but be for them when they need you which I like to believe we are.


Sunday, June 05, 2011

Yesterday, the first saturday of the month of June we had the MRA meeting hosted by Dr Anand and his always charming wife Asha.
The topic of discussion was the role of fathers in effective parenting.
Dr Maya Kirpalani led the enlightening talk and discussion.
Let me share some points with you:

Fathers play a very important role in a child's life physically, emotionally and spiritually.

1) Children who visualize a compassionate God is usually due to the fact that they have had a compassionate and understanding father.
On the other hand if children visualize a punitive God it is because the father was probably judgemental and always 'punishing'for 'wrong behaviour'...

2) Both father and children 'grow' positively from interaction...a father becomes more sensitive, loving...a child learns to be more assertive, self reliant...

3)A child notices how father 'treats' mother...Very often they emulate what they 'see' as children.

4) Sexual behaviour, fantasies could be discussed with father only if there has been a cordial relationship earlier

5)In case of a girl child: If she notices father rejecting mother she may reject her femininty. She may act like a tomboy. She may distrust men and fear intimacy.Fatherless women may become seductive in her 'seeking' male attention...or she may become anti-male. Gays have generally had a less supportive father.

6) A girl child recognizes a 'good touch'. A normal/good father touches respectfully. A girl then expects that kind of treatment from relationships...Sometimes they create unrealistic expectation from husbands.

Think about it: If you say: I will tell your mother/father about you (your behaviour)
You are reducing your own authority.