MY MOTHER, Mrs. LAJWANTI JAMNADAS KHIANI
My mother and I had a very strong Karmic connection.
I lost my father when I was very young.
My sister, being older to me by 7 years, got married at an early age and stayed overseas.
Until I was a young teen-ager, I lived in Spain.
My outlook and thoughts were totally western.
I could not meet my classmates in discussion when they wondered aloud, how Hindus could be so pagan as to worship cows, monkeys and elephants
After my sister got married, my mother decided that I needed to be introduced to our rich Indian heritage.
Thus, I returned to India, confused.
My mother was deeply religious. She spent most of her time going for Spiritual discourses. She would not leave me alone at home, hence we would strike a deal.
If I went with her for a religious gathering, she would allow me to go somewhere I enjoyed.
At the Spiritual discourses that I was made to attend, my mind would wander to whatever was fancying me at the moment.
But, somehow, somewhere, sometimes a sentence would find its way into my intellect. Questions within me would surface. Initially the questions overflowed, probably to argue, to prove myself right. But as I came across scholars in front of whom my arguments seemed to have not a chance, I realized the Ocean of Wisdom that Hinduism is.
Mummy’s Ishtdeva was Krishna, but she had deep faith in the Guru Granth Sahib.
I would sing with devotion at Janmashtami and Radhashtami functions, and pay my respects to the Guru.
So I grew in the company of Krishna and under the benign Grace of the great Gurus.
Thank you mummy, for being the instrument in instilling a spiritual interest in me.
Mummy was extremely independent. She lived alone after my marriage.
Did I say alone? No way! She would spend time, traveling to the abodes of the various Deities, be it, in the lofty Himalayas or in Southern Bharat-Desh.
But did all these prayers and rituals make her superstitious and afraid?
No! Love and Faith in her life were paramount
She always, concentrated and thanked the Lord for the glass half-full, rather than it being half-empty.
Thank you mummy, for giving me the gift, of learning to be grateful, and the capacity to love, despite odds!
She helped me nurse my children through their various childhood illnesses.
My children teasingly called her the night nurse.
Thank you mummy for being a great mom and Big-mama!
The last years of her life, she withdrew into herself.
I was not sure, whether the above, was a spiritual method to reduce her attachments and desires, until a Spiritual Giant, described her condition as Sahaj Samaadhi.
She did not trouble me, in the last 7 years that she stayed with me.
I was troubled however, by watching her go, through the inevitable difficulties of old age. But she bore them with patience.
She told me that I (should not fret as I) had done my best, and she expressed the desire of moving on.
So, Good bye mummy,
Thank you, for being my mother, my friend, my Guide.
Until we meet again, fare you well!
Vimlu (My maiden name)
Shakun Narain Kimatrai
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